An Ode to Stretchy Pants

There once was a girl named Sarah.
Tight waistbands she just could not bear-a!

So she just got lazy,

Though some called her crazy,

And wore stretchy pants without even a care-a!

Wow. Can you tell that I've taught elementary school? And never learned how to write any poetry other than mediocre limericks? My English teaching sister Rachel must be hiding her face in shame. :) But, all limerick joking aside, I do love stretchy pants! O, let me count the ways!!! I have always been a creature of comfort, with the possible exception of the vain high school years when heels and flirting pushed comfort and sanity aside for awhile. Give me something "comfy-cozy" (my mother's phrase) and I will be as content as a purring kitten. Although I will try not to purr. For your sake. And my own reputation's. Truth be told, all of the Westover girls are creatures of comfort in this way. I think Rachel took this to the ultimate extreme when in 3rd grade she refused---refused!---to wear anything other than sweatsuits all year. Sweatsuits! Goo. Major goo. Mom was so desperate to keep her from looking like a complete urchin that she tried to make her sweatsuits all cute by sewing ribbons and bows onto them. Nice try, Mom. Man do I wish that I had a picture of Rachel in one of those sweatsuits right now! Hilarious. (I am happy to say that she has now fully recovered from this phase and is a very fashionable high school teacher. Mom must be smiling. And sighing in relief.) Although I never turned to a life of sweatsuits, I will admit that I spent more than half of my college classes in pajama pants, and I have been pulling off my normal clothes in favor of pajamas the instant I arrive home for years now. My family all teases me because I live in these absolutely heinous, tacky pink pajama pants with giant candy hearts on them that my dad gave me for Valentine's Day several years ago. (See the picture on the next entry.) They are soooo ugly, not to mention stained from food being dropped on them, but whatever. They are COMFY-COZY!!! I can not resist their wide, stretchy waistband! No drawstrings for me....if there isn't a wide, stretchy waistband, the pajama or yoga pants are simply not worth wearing, much less buying. And now the revelation for what brought on this glorification of the comfort of stretchy pants: maternity clothes. Wonderful, glorious, STRETCHY maternity clothes. I keep reading in books that by the end of my pregnancy I will be so sick of my maternity clothes that I will want to burn them, but that I will probably have to continue to wear the pants for awhile until I lose the baby weight. My friends, that is SOOO not a problem for me! I could buy that maybe I would be sick of wearing certain pairs of pants frequently, but there is NO WAY that I will be sick of maternity pants in general. All of those wide, stretchy waistbands just conforming to my belly no matter how bloated or uncomfortable I should be feeling....Heaven! And stretchy pants are no longer banished to being worn to dance class, around the house, or on long car trips, either. No! Now they are worn EVERYWHERE! The store, work, even the symphony! Every pair of pants I can now wear have a wide, stretchy waistband! No zippers, no buttons, no unbuttoning my pants after Thanksgiving dinner! I am already in my stretchy pants, glorious stretchy pants! The first day that I fully realized the joy that these stretchy maternity pants would bring me was the day of my second OBGYN appointment. Needless to say, I was so tiny that I definitely did not need to be wearing maternity clothes yet. But at a thrift shop I had found an adorable pair of jeans with a seam running down the front that, truth be told, were so small that they may never fit once I gained even two more pounds, but I couldn't resist them (especially for $6!) and I couldn't wait to wear them. (See the picture above.) I triumphantly marched into the waiting room where Logan was waiting to meet me and showed him my new maternity pants. He scoffed, "You need to be wearing maternity pants already?!" I defiantly replied that I didn't need to, I wanted to. He took one look at how tight they were on me and at the stretchy waistband and just started to laugh. "You aren't going to stop wearing those after the baby is born are you? You are going to wear those stretchy pants all of the time!" Logan, my dear, you are darn right I am!